3.

Christmas morning FaceTime with the family while they opened gifts. 

Hope all of you had a great Christmas as well!

2 days til I leave California to fly home. 3 days till I land in Pittsburgh.

4.

Merry Christmas!!!!

in the lobby at Kaiser

4 days....

therapy

Just like it says in Lamentations 3:21-23, this morning started with new mercies.

Beginning with this view:

I made it to the ocean just in time to see the sunrise.

I took a left turn on Sunset Blvd and wound my way up the mountain for a morning hike in the Palisades.

There were few people on the trail this morning. It felt like a private mountain.  It was like therapy for me, this quiet beautiful morning.  The fresh air and amazing views. 

When my therapy session was finished I took my favorite drive through Topanga Canyon home.  Later this afternoon therapy took a different form - retail therapy.  I did some more Christmas shopping, and maybe picked a few things up for myself..

This evening I took it easy, I cleaned, baked some cookies, and listened to Christmas music.

special Christmas drink made with peppermint chai and bailey's mint choc. liqueur. My Andy William's Christmas album has a fire scene to watch while you listen.

 Currently I'm watching Little Women, an old favorite.  Looking forward to next week even more!

bad day for a pig.

Monday, Ashley and I showed Woodland Hills who we represented..

We both were approached by the director of the ICU to review the dress code policy, complete with red ink underlining "no logos". 

Throughout the day, Ashley had asked me several times if I was sure I was off today.. I continued to remind her that I was sure I worked Thursday, next.  Then I spent time thinking about what I would do with my day off. I started with staying up late, midnight to be exact.  I stayed up watching Christmas movies and researching Tahoe ski resorts..

This morning my alarm was set to wake me up at 7am. However, I was woken up at about 650 by a phone call from Ashley..

I was supposed to work today.

First I ran laps around the apartment, then when I was thinking appropriately, I got ready and left.  I got to work by 715. How's that!!

Here's where things get sad,  I walked into a mess.  One of my patients had coded at about 6am and had just been transferred to the ICU.  He was very sick and they were having a hard time saving him.  The wife walked in while I was getting report, she looked pale and scared.  I recognized her.  Remember when I had a bad day last week, in the DOU? Well, he was one of my patients that day.  He was a little sick, but still able to talk and eat.  I also got to know his wife and daughter.. now here we were meeting again, but in much worse circumstances.  

The doctor and I had a meeting with the family to discuss the patient's best interest. The family decided it was best to make him comfortable, which means pulling off all support; drugs, ventilator, compressions, etc.  My responsibility changed from keeping him alive to keeping him comfortable as he passed.  

It's strange, but this part of my job can be just as rewarding as the dramatics of bringing someone back to life.   There can be dignity in deciding to withdraw care, just to let someone pass peacefully. Sometimes that's the best choice.   

This family broke my heart.  They were criers. The noise the daughter let out when she saw my patient, her father, immediately brought tears to my eyes.  Then the 13 year old grandson saying, "grandpa if you hear me, please wake up" broke all of us in the room. 

As time went by the family got better.  They supported each other and a sense of peace passed over all of them as he took his last breath. Once the busyness of the morning calmed down, I had an afternoon free of patients to allow my head to clear.  I did busy work, cleaning, restocking shelves, and helping people with menial tasks. 

My cousin Rachel called me this afternoon to let me know that one of my childhood friends passed yesterday.  I haven't spoken to her in years, but just thinking about it, how sudden and unexpected her death was, the daughter she left behind, and her family this holiday season.. I spoke with one of my other old friends today about Sarah and how we've all lost touch over the years.  It's just so sad. 

Our coworkers today were kind to me and helpful while I had a few teary breakdowns.  They all tried to keep me smiling and provided so much support. I really appreciate them, and Ashley.  She bought me dinner and was so sweet to me while I dealt with all of the emotions from the day.

Tonight I took Ashley to the airport.. more reason to be sad.  We won't see each other for 2 weeks now, then for some reason our schedule in the last month I'm here is awful.  We are only off 2 days together in a 3 week period.  Every day we are opposite, either she is working or I am, which lessens our opportunities for adventure together as we close out on Southern California. 

Are you depressed yet? Here, listen to these.  These melancholy Christmas songs are some of my favorites. 

Well, I'm sitting here crying again.  California has been amazing, but it's times like these I was afraid of, making me realize how far away I am.  I miss all of you terribly, especially as we approach Christmas.  Next week can't come soon enough.

Love you,

Megan

chains and flames and christmas cheer

Perhaps you are wondering after the title of this post.  Well let me cut right to it - for my next tattoo, I want chains and flames..

Just kidding!!

But there is a meaning behind my subject title.  Come closer, and I will explain.

Tuesday; a day away from the hospital.  A day for fresh air, fresh snow, and therapy. A day, at Mountain High.

I arose at the crack of dawn and hit the road. In the Valley, it was cold and rainy.  In the mountains, it was snow and ice.

Due to the rain,  LA drivers were freaking out and creating extensive traffic on the 101.  Thinking that I would avoid hold ups, I took the 405 North, a different approach to the mountains. 

What I didn't take into account was that this route would take me through a National Park and poorly maintained roads.

 Enter the chains.

As I drove further and further North, I was passing signs with warnings.  "Poorly maintained roads"  "chains required" "caution" "death to all who trespass" ..etc.

I'll admit my car was slipping some, but not horribly.  Until the road began to twist and turn, as most mountainous roads do.  The slipping worsened.  When I parked my car on the side and went to assess conditions, I nearly fell, as the entire road was coated in black ice.

Luckily though, I had received much advice and prompting to purchase chains.  So I did and kept them in my trunk. Luckily, again, as per my dad's advice, I bought the "easy to apply" chains, and had no difficulty securing them to my tires. Luckily once more, I made it safely to the resort, with plenty of time to mark some fresh powder.

It snowed pretty much all day, but then the clouds opened up and allowed for a beautiful view.

 The next day we both worked.  The therapeutic snow and cold had helped, but Ashley and I were tired and in need of sushi. So we went to one of our favorite restaurants, Kabuki.

 Last night I was sleeping.  Around 330am, I awoke to the most horrendous noise. At first I thought it was my alarm, but it was too early.  It must have been Ashley's.  I plugged my ears and buried my head under my blankets.  Moments later I heard Ashley's panicked voice calling out to me, "Meg! Megan! Are you awake!? I think there's a fire!"  I called out in a sleepy panic, "is it in our apartment?!?" 

Enter the flames.

It wasn't in our place, but the alarm was sounding.  I opened the front door and the sound poured into our entry way, flooding us with an even louder noise from the long, echoing hallway.  We got dressed, gathered essentials (wallet, iPad, phones, chargers, etc) and went outside. People were scattered, in their pajamas and hats and boots.  Everyone squinting and grimacing, because of the sounding alarms.  It was so loud. Once we entered open air we could smell smoke.  More people in their pajamas with their dogs were wandering around, asking if anyone knew where the actual fire was.

The complex we live in has 7 aparment buildings.  Only 3 were alarming; buildings 2, 3, 4, and the parking garage. The other 4 buildings and their tenants continued to slumber in peace.  The fire truck had arrived and fireman and security ushered us away from the buildings, so we made our way to the very front, beyond the gated entrance.

photos by Ashley

Apparently an apartment on the 6th floor of building 2 had caught fire, but it didn't spread beyond.  After about an hour, the alarms were shut off, two more fire trucks and a cop arrived, and we were allowed to return to our beds. Wide awake, ears ringing, and cold. 

Knowing that I would be tired at work today, Ashley surprised me with one of my favorite Starbucks drinks, a peppermint mocha.

Enter Christmas cheer.

 Just a taste of what the two of us have been up to recently..

The other day Ashley asked if I wanted to go see a movie, New Year's Eve.  I was willing to go, and she asked me to look up the times.  Upon searching, I discovered that the theater nearest to us was also showing NYC Ballet Company perform The Nutcracker, which I have been looking for lately.  I asked Ashley if that was appealing to her, and it was not.  However, she encouraged me to see it, if that was what I wanted.

So, arriving together for the same move time, Ashley and I went to the the cinema for two separate movies, lasting for about the same length.  She in one theater, and I in another.

I want to be a ballerina. 

Yesterday we picked two of our Pittsburgh friends us from the airport. Dan and Cecelia.





Dan and I met in college, but didn't really become friends until we started working at UPMC together.

Cecelia was one of my preceptors when I started at UPMC.  If you remember stories about my preceptors, she was the good one, not the one that made me cry.

As soon as we picked them up from the airport we drove straight to the coast.  First we stopped at Moonshadows, where Erin and I went.  Our faces burned while we sat on the balcony catching up, laughing, and swatting at seagulls.   Well I was mainly the one swatting.. they'll never get my calamari again.

After lunch we went up the PCH to El Matador, which I've also mentioned a lot.  You know, the beach with the rocks?  Each time we go is different and always beautiful... also full of some sort of photography session that usually has nudity in it and creates a really awkward situation for you to walk up during. 

Ashley picked up this crab that was settled in the sand.  He got a pretty good pinch on her finger with his back claws the first time she picked him up.  But he was able to be tamed and stopped trying to attack her, and even posed for a picture.

Ashley and Dan

After that we drove down the PCH to watch the sunset from the Santa Monica Pier.

A lot of people were out for the view.

They have stairs at the end of the pier you can sit on to watch performers, fishermen, and of course, the sunset.

Afterwards we went to relax at our apartment, then went to see what Hollywood could offer us for late night dinner and drinks. 

We found a huge movie set. They are making a film set in the 40s called Gangster Squad. Hollywood Blvd was blocked off but we could still see most of the set. 

It"s a winter wonderland at the church of Scientology in Hollywood..

And yes.. that is Ashley running up the stairs to pose with Santa.

We ate at a little restaurant called Pig n' Whistle. It was eccentric and had great food. Karaoke started at 10p and Ashley signed up.  After writhing in pain as to whether or not I should try again, I decided to take go for it. However, we were waiting for so long.  And the people weren't really good, and kind of strange. There were these girls dancing in the background and it was bizarre and uncomfortable to watch them.  Also, the bathroom was down these stairs and a long hallway in a creepy room.  Then as I was running to return to the table, I saw there was bathroom right around the corner, and the journey to the bowels of Hollywood was totally unnecessary. 

Needles to say we didn't last long and left before Ashley was even called to the stage. 

a sunrise, a president, and birds.

After hiking Saturday I went to bed at 10pm.  This was in preparation for a 6am wake up call (or three because I tend to hit the snooze..).

The reason for the early awakening on my day off is simple.  This:

A California sunrise.

Just in case you are getting worried that I have turned into some kind of naturalistic-bran eating-don't shave my armpits-organic person, let me reassure you;


I'm still the girl that tries to learn Beyonce's music videos:

I still shop at Target.
I still love Christmas music.

And just the other day I had an internal debate for about 30 minutes about whether or not it would be a good idea to go to Taco Bell. 

I really wanted a crunch wrap supreme.

After church Sunday I headed to the Ronald Reagan Library, which isn't a library, but a museum.

And as I've described so many things in California, it was beautiful.

The museum sits on top of a hill in Simi Valley, about 30 minutes from my apt. 

While I learned a lot about Ronald Reagan and his presidency, I won't bore you with those tidbits.  

Hey, I got to go inside of Air Force One!

And I saw some cold war propaganda, which as some of you may know, is one of my favorite kinds of art.

A piece of the Berlin wall.

After I learned all I could about Ronald Reagan, I learned what I could about America's history...through Christmas trees. 

Each tree represented a decade in our country's history.  They were decorated with things that resembled inventions, Amendments, movies, toys, etc, and even social networking. 

All this while sparkling like a happily decorated Christmas tree. 

An interesting thing about people's perspective on this coast.  Their history is heavily based on the Westward expansion.  Our history on the East coast seems to have deeper roots, and an older story. It's almost as if the Revolution, Civil War, and etc are a distant memory, a far off country's history compared to the side of the continental US.  There was a tour group in front of me that talked about Washington DC and NYC as if they were foreign.  The guide asked the group, "has anyone here ever been to our nation's capital?" when someone said yes, she asked them to share about their experience.  The other group members were intrigued and murmured to each other that they wished they could have gone as well. 

Psh! My sister goes for a walk almost every night 'round the Capitol!! I went there when I was in the 6th grade! 

..I didn't really say that...but I thought it. Hearing their perspective made our country seem so much bigger. 

 After the museum I came home, made dinner, then Ashley and I watched one of ABC Family's '25 Days of Christmas' movies.  This is probably one of our favorite evening activities currently.  Have you been watching these?  All the favorites are on!


Update:  Remember when I mentioned an itchy infestation? Well I did..at first Orkin thought it was spiders. But we never developed Spiderman like powers... and the itching got even worse. They finally came today and were able to diagnose us with Bird mites. If you haven't thrown up yet, don't google it, because you will. They are nasty pest bugs that can infest a house near birds nests... I guess it's not so nice living next to the prairie..  They did some heavy duty exterminating today, we even had to take our Christmas tree outside so it didn't die as well.  However, if this doesn't help, we will have to move, and I reallllyyy hope it doesn't come to that.