This is the Waldo tunnel, aka The Rainbow Tunnel. It's the highest point on the 101.
The San Francisco National Maritime Park
It was really windy, but a beautiful day.
Ghirardelli Square
Sunday morning I went to church. There was a bag with a change of clothes, lunch, a book, and a blanket in my car, as I had planned on heading to the beach afterward. However, I received a message from a fellow traveler with an invitation to see Northern California via motorcycle.
Ashley and I met a lot of nurses when we worked the strike in LA. We exchanged numbers with a few people, two of which were guys that are working an assignment in San Francisco. One of them had mentioned he had a motorcycle, and I mentioned that I love riding on them.
The weather was beautiful. We drove up to Napa Valley and Sonoma, wine country.
It was gorgeous, and so fun to see it on a bike.
We stopped for a bite to eat in Napa, then started driving back to San Rafael.
Changing my plans also meant surrendering my afternoon nap before night shift. I really didn't mind, it was worth it to have gone on the bike ride. Spending the entire day outside in the sunshine and fresh air was also good for my heart, because last night's shift was really difficult.
The majority of the time work is busy and mildly stressful. It's shades of gray though, as some nights slower than others, and some busier. I started off the shift without any patients. They had actually planned on having me audit charts and the other nurses, looking for errors in things like hand hygiene, medication administration, and charting. In other words, boring. Leave it to me to open my big mouth and complain saying, "this is going to be so boring, I'd rather have a patient assignment" At the beginning of the shift there was an overhead announcement that there was a patient on another floor getting sicker. Usually after an announcement like that they move the patient from the floor to the ICU for monitoring and stabilization.
As I was the only nurse available, they told me I'd be receiving the patient the announcement was about. When they brought her to me she was awake and talking, but in obvious in bad shape.
How can I discretely describe the events of my evening? It was bloody. It was scary. It was sad. It was draining. After arriving to the unit, she quickly deteriorated right in front of our eyes. We literally ran around watching her dying, trying everything to keep her alive. We saved her when her body failed, brought her back, then maintained her into the morning. For 12 hours I was with her. I didn't get to sit down for more than a few seconds. I didn't eat, and I didn't go to the bathroom. She was just too sick, and she was my responsibility. Luckily the nurses in this unit have been so helpful. They were right there with me as often as they could be, Ashley too, fighting for this woman's life.
It is exhausting in every way. At times it feels like a losing battle. At times it feels like too much. But then you remember that this is a person with a family, with a life, with a future, and you realize it's worth every bit of your mental power and energy. Because for me, it was only 12 hours of stress then the next shift took over. For the patient and the family, it determines their future.
Leaving work this morning I was completely drained, on the brink of tears, and spattered in blood. I needed food and a chance to decompress mentally, so Ashley and I went out for breakfast at a local spot.
After that shift, I'm reminded that there is a plan for me of which nursing is a huge part. There is a plan for my patients too, and at some point it's planned that our paths cross, however unfortunate the setting be.
A doctor that I worked closely with last night came up to me this morning and encouraged me for my efforts. She said, "this patient is alive, because you were her nurse"
I'm so grateful to be a nurse. I'm grateful it has given me the opportunity to travel and see all of the places and people I have in these past 6 months. It's an incredibly rewarding and an incredibly scary job. I hope I can continue to do my job and grow as a nurse and care for patients well. I hope I can surrender my work to God's will and trust that whatever happens is according to his purpose.
I'm catching up on all your posts- I've been m.i.a. for a while. Just so you know...I think you're amazing.
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