Some people never change..

When it rains in the valley..

..it's snowing in the mountains..

Monday I went to Mt High and had a great day.  It was fresh powdery snow and I got to try my new custom skis made by my cousin, Jon Holuta.

I've found myself distractedly home sick lately.  For my family, for my friends, and for snow.  I can get lost looking at pictures on people's facebook, texts, and etc. I told someone the other day, before I went skiing, that my heart ached for Pennsylvania Winter.

This distraction has not been to my benefit.

There were times in my youth that I was called to the office or required to stay behind to talk the teacher.  It was never anything bad, just the usual, "you need to pay attention", "stop talking in class", "don't chew gum", and etc.  You know, rules.  After hearing reports of these events, I'm sure my parents would think, "she'll grow out of it once she's older."... It's sweet that they were so optimistic..

It started with Sunday, when I heard someone say quietly, "Megan, would you please speak with me in my office?"  I looked up to see one of the doctors I work with looking down at me with a disapproving glance.  You see, we had had a disagreement, which I walked away from before we found common ground. Now he here was to discuss the issue again.. so, face flushing, I followed him to his office and prepared for the reprimand. 

Before any of you get too uncomfortable and start pacing I'll just tell you that the issue was resolved quickly and professionally.  The nurse in charge that day joined us for the discussion, and we were able to come to a conclusion which ended in apologies that were both genuine and appreciated.

With that being said, let's review today's events..

My morning at work was busy, but productive.  While a lot of the time it's easy to get behind on things, today I was ahead.  From the outsider's point of view, it probably looked like I was sitting in a chair not doing anything, but I promise my mind was working and I was thinking of other things I could get done.    However my boss walked up, paused to look me up and down, then said something to the extent of, "I was going to ask if you are busy, but it doesn't look like I'm interrupting anything"

Oo.. not a good start. 

There were two problems she was going to address with me.  The first being an error that was made Sunday, nothing harmful, but something that a series of people involved in the issue (myself being one of them) shouldn't have let happen.  We had to review my notes in the patient's chart and do a step-by-step of some of the thought processes and actions that I took related to this event.  Once that drill was over we had to review a test that I took recently.  It was a test on preventing pressure ulcers, which is a common problem patients have.  My boss pulled out the test and I cringed instantly as I saw a lot of tic marks noting each mistake. She said, "well first off, you failed, but so did a lot of other people" (thanks for the reassurance.. but we all know there's no reason I should have failed this test) My mind flashed back to when I took it.  Ever heard of the phrase half-assed? I think that pretty well describes how I took that test.. I remember thinking, "they probably won't even look at this", as I chose answers willy-nilly and with no logical thought.

While my boss was talking and flipping through the pages of the test she said encouraging things like, "well a lot of people got this one wrong, so I can see how you chose that", but she also dropped the statement, "I'm not sure what happened on this page" as she pointed to questions that I had either skipped entirely, or circled more than one answer, both incorrect. My mind did one of those fuzzy memory sequences from TV and I flashed back to my 13 year old self sitting in front of  the desks of teachers as they said things like, "I'm not mad, but I'll be concerned if this behavior continues".  Suddenly I found myself saying out loud, "I'm sorry" to my boss.  She kind of blinked at me and said, "Don't apologize, you can retake the test. It's really not a big deal."  I'm surprised I didn't say something else dumb like, "are you going to call my parents?"

There are other examples of obstinance and airheadedness, but out of concern for your judgement of my character, I won't divulge, but instead tell you that I promise to be better next time and I'm going to pay attention real well and I'll totally make it up to you, so please let me hangout with my friends tomorrow..

miss you all.